Ifer
Loyality and Darkness
Do you ever walk into a room and immediately feel uneasy, even though you don't know why? Or you're in a perfectly good mood, and then you spend time with someone who is so negative that, somehow, you begin to feel negative too?
That is Ifer in my story.
He and Michael are very similar in many ways. They are both angels, both protect others, and both remain loyal to those they care about. But Ifer has spent so much time surrounded by suffering, guilt, anger, and despair that some of that darkness has affected him too.
He has not become evil.
He is simply colder than the other angels. More detached. And when he appears, people around him begin to feel some of the guilt, anger, and pain he has absorbed from the lost souls he has helped.
The more frightened, insecure, or lost someone already is, the stronger those emotions become. That is why the D-Soldiers and other lost humans are often the first to begin arguing or fighting when Ifer appears. Others feel it too, but they are better able to recognize those emotions and control their reactions.
What Surrounds Us Shapes Us
And that connects to something I believe very strongly:
The people and environments around us change us.
We like to think that we are completely independent—that our personalities, beliefs, and behavior come entirely from within us. But I don't think that is true.
If you spend your life surrounded by kindness, loyalty, compassion, and people who encourage the best in you, those qualities influence you.
If you spend your life surrounded by bitterness, cruelty, hatred, fear, guilt, and anger, those influence you too.
Sometimes the change happens so slowly that we don't even notice it.
A person who is constantly surrounded by cynicism may eventually become cynical. Someone who is repeatedly betrayed may stop trusting. Someone who witnesses cruelty over and over again may become emotionally numb—not because they suddenly became cruel themselves, but because detachment becomes a way of surviving what they are constantly exposed to.
That is what Ifer represents to me.
He is still capable of helping others. He still understands the difference between good and evil. He still chooses loyalty. But darkness has left its fingerprints on him.
When Darkness Becomes Normal
I believe in God, and I also believe that evil exists. But I believe much of the evil in this world comes from human beings themselves.
History has shown us that people can create cruelty, hatred, violence, and destruction entirely on their own.
Sometimes because they want power.
Sometimes because they are afraid.
Sometimes because everyone around them is doing the same thing.
And sometimes because they have lived in darkness for so long that darkness has begun to feel normal.
