James’s Wife

I think most people have—or have had—someone like this in their lives. James’s wife represents people who build their lives around status, money, beauty, power, and what other people think of them. And this isn’t about women. Men do it too.

Some people marry for money. Some marry for status. Some choose the most beautiful partner because that person becomes another symbol of their success.

I always find it interesting when people say, “She only married him for his money.” And I think: Yes, maybe—but then they belong together, because I am sure he married her only because she is young and beautiful, what is the difference?

In both cases, the other person can become something to display rather than someone to truly love.

And sometimes it goes far beyond romantic relationships.

I have seen friendships change because someone’s status changed. People who were once close suddenly became distant when one person no longer fit the image, lifestyle, or social circle they wanted to be part of.

For some people, everything becomes part of the presentation:

The house. The car. The spouse. The perfect children. The right friends. The perfect life.

But when so much energy goes into maintaining that image, there may be very little authenticity left underneath it.

You begin choosing people not because you love them, trust them, or enjoy who they are, but because of what they represent. Who they know. What they own. How they make you look.

And once your identity depends on that image, you also become terrified of losing it.

I poured all of these emotions and observations into James’s wife—a woman who becomes so consumed with preserving the world she wants others to see that she damages her relationship with her daughter and leaves her husband the moment he falls from grace.

That, to me, is another kind of prison.

Because when your entire life is built around impressing other people, you are no longer really living for yourself.

You are living for them. And really—what is the fun in that?